“Southern Charm Savannah” premieres Monday night on Bravo, and I think I know where your head is on this: Two “Southern Charms” is two “Southern Charms” too many.
I get it. It’s a natural reaction.
The decision to take on any new TV show in this Age of Amazing Television is already a difficult one. Who has the time? But the decision to watch yet another show about blueblooded Southerners who have more money than dignity is an especially pained one for those of us who live within dinner distance of these two cities.
I mean, we have to watch both the Charleston and Savannah versions, right? It’s kind of the smart thing to do. How else will we know when to wipe down chairs before sitting in them at whatever favorite bar of ours was a filming location?
OK. Maybe this hasn’t convince you. There’s no “Hilton Head Island native Shep Rose” in the Savannah version to say you know.
But stay with me here.
Bravo sent me a screener of the first episode of “Southern Charm Savannah,” and I finally watched it, so I can now offer you a few more Interesting Things to Consider.
Interesting Thing: Daniel Eichholz is a cast member. Yes, Eichholz as in The Eichholz Law Firm, “THE JUSTICE LAWYER.” Sorry. Those Savannah law firm commercials in the morning are just so catchy. Especially the awkward rap ones. “Do yourself a favor and listen to me, call 748-645 ...” Oops. Wrong law firm (but you can totally guess at that last number. That’s why it’s so genius!).
To Consider: Daniel is a hairy hunk who looks like he thinks swimming in the pool counts as a shower. And he is often naked in an unpixelated way.
Comparable Charleston Cast Member: Thomas Ravenel’s son, St. Julien Rembert Whatever. In like 30 years, obviously.
Interesting Thing: Some dude named Nelson who isn’t a cast member and says “Hell Damn No!” also isn’t gay.
To Consider: Maybe he’s just “Gone With the Wind” Southern? Is that a thing? Anyway, his friends describe him as “Fabulous.”
Comparable Charleston Cast Member: Patricia Altschul with Thomas Ravenel’s delusions of political grandeur
Interesting Thing: There’s a guy named Lyle who might have to be told rocks aren’t cereal. I’m not saying he seems super dumb, I’m just saying he might mistake a bowl of rocks to be his breakfast unless someone tells him otherwise.
To Consider: OK. Fine. He seems really, really dumb and a little lost.
Comparable Charleston Cast Member: Landon
Interesting Thing: Catherine Lanier Cooper might be a descendant of colonists but she doesn’t really know. She does know that her grandmother was the national president of the Colonial Dames of America, though!
To Consider: Catherine is very surprised to find out that she actually knows there were 13 colonies. Lyle is in love with her. Her dad’s name is Chuck. Her mom’s name is Big Cat.
Comparable Charleston Cast Member: “Projectory”
Interesting Thing: There’s an actual mom on the show — a woman named Ashley. She might have been kind of a strange one in prep school. After school she was like “Peace, Savannah” and traveled the world, but then she came back and wowed her old prep school not-friends enough that she is their now-friend, at least enough so that she made it on the show.
To Consider: Ashley cuts her own hair, possible with kid scissors
Comparable Charleston Cast Member: She might be the Kathryn ... but time will tell us if she’s really First Season Jenna (where’d you go, girl?)
Interesting Thing: There’s a couple whose names I can’t remember and whose story lines I slept through.
To Consider: Freddy and Gina? No. Alistair and Madonna? No. I give up. Oh! Louis and Hannah? I think that’s it.
Comparable Charleston Cast Member: Austen
The show premieres at 10 p.m. Monday.
If you’re a fan of the OG “Southern Charm” and have fallen behind on episodes, I can catch you up here.