Well, you can’t say Bluffton doesn’t love a good sex-store mystery

Sorry, dirty birdies, there’s no Adult Novelty Superstore planned for the corner of Calhoun and Bridge streets in Old Town Bluffton.

I talked with Heather Colin, director of growth management for the Town of Bluffton, on Wednesday and she confirmed it.

“There is no application or request for anything to reoccupy that space ... for any business,” she said.

Not that this should come as any surprise.

When the words “Adult Novelty Superstore” and “Coming Soon” appeared in the windows of the old Eggs ‘N’ Tricities building earlier this week, it was pretty clear this was a prank.

Not that I’m an expert in the handwriting of future sex store owners, of course, but the lettering did look like it was trying not to crack up at how funny it thought it was being.

The not-a-porn-store building has been vacant since 2015, when longtime occupant Eggs ‘N’ Tricities moved to Lawton Street. Most recently, the owner of the property was given the OK by the town to demolish the building, thereby making room for possible redevelopment.

All of this, I’m sure, will come as spectacular news, in particular, to the horrified-looking woman who walked by the store yesterday and stopped in front to ponder the words.

“It’s probably a joke,” I told her.

“Dear, Lord,” she said, “I should hope so.”

For those of you who are disappointed in this update, though, you should totally use that energy to tell me why you think someone wrote this on the building’s windows in the first place.

Was it for shock value? A message to the community to lighten up? Or was it members of a crafting club, who just wanted to test out the new supplies they bought at Michaels while reminding the town that they have needs too?

This story was originally published February 8, 2017 at 4:50 PM with the headline "Well, you can’t say Bluffton doesn’t love a good sex-store mystery."