Farrell: Real men bring their Man Feet to the nail salon
Men, as nature would have it, have Man Feet.
Man Feet are not the feet that all men have, mind you.
They are the feet that some men have, feet that are discolored and bumpy with jagged toenails of varying thickness that can nick you if you're not careful.
Man Feet are the ones that prompt me to quite seriously ask the owner, "Are you ... are you wearing shoes in bed? THEN WHAT JUST BRUSHED AGAINST MY LEG?"
Men with Man Feet don't take kindly to foot-care suggestions, either.
Advice culled from our own lives, such as "Sleep with Vaseline and booties on your feet" or "This is a pumice stone. Rub this pumice stone on anything that does not look like skin," is not followed.
And don't bother bringing up the idea of a pedicure.
That's a solid no, because "real men" have the feet of trolls and "that's what socks are for."
Besides, "pedicures are for women," I've been told. To Man Feet men, that relaxing basin of warm bubbly water might as well be stirrups.
But they're wrong.
Pedicures, according to my opinion and my observations at the nail salon I go to in Bluffton, are not just for women.
At least not anymore.
More men seem open to the idea of having their feet pampered and, in fact, are doing so. I see them all the time.
Logan Farrison of Port Royal is one of those men. He's been getting pedicures regularly and unapologetically for the past 10 years, and if anyone with Man Feet has a problem with that, they might want to keep it to themselves.
Farrison was in the Marines for 13 years and is now a reservist.
Also, he doesn't care what anyone thinks. He knows he's right.
"When I was in the infantry, I had a sergeant -- one of the biggest, burliest men you could imagine. And we were engaged in idle chat, you know. (I asked him) 'What are you doing this weekend?'
"'Going to get a pedicure.'
"I said 'You're doing what?!? Get out of here.'
"'The two most important things to a Marine are your rifle and your feet. I take care of my weapon; why wouldn't I take care of my feet? Why don't you come along with me?'"
Farrison did. And, while it felt strange at first, he found out that "getting a pedicure" doesn't mean "here's your bonnet and your talking points for the 'Real Housewives' discussion later, sir."
It doesn't mean getting your man toes painted red or at all.
It doesn't mean anything other than sitting in a comfy massage chair, having a relaxing foot rub and getting your toenails and the surrounding areas brought back to factory settings.
"My friends kind of make fun of me a little bit," Farrison said. "But I've had a lot of women compliment me. 'Oh my God, you have beautiful feet!' On the flip side of it, how many times have you seen a guy with yellow toes?"
He makes a heaving sound.
"Put your shoes back on, bro."
Amy Brinson, manager at FACES Day Spa on Hilton Head Island, told me she's seen an increase in the number of men coming in for pedicures over the past few years.
Usually they're accompanied by their wives and girlfriends, who have orchestrated the visit.
"A lot of them don't understand what they're getting. They go and they realize 'OK. This is good.' Then they come back a second time and a third."
She hasn't yet been able to get her own husband to go, though.
"I have tried," she sighed.
Some men might be afraid their feet are too hairy and ugly for the salon. They might be embarrassed by those Fred Flintstones they've been walking around on.
But Brinson said nail technicians can handle anything.
"They're around feet all the time. It's no big deal."
Farrison, who works at Coastal Realty of the Lowcountry, has become a pedicure ambassador of sorts among his co-workers and friends.
"You know what? I haven't been able to get any of my guy friends to go with me. We talk about it. They jab at me a little. I tell them, 'You guys are Marines. You guys are on your feet all day long. ... You get home. You take your shoes off. Your feet stink. You have yellow toe fungus stuff. Go get that taken care of. Get your feet cleaned and the dead skin scrubbed."
Farrison is often the only guy in the nail salon when he goes for his monthly treatment.
On a recent Sunday at H'Allure Nails and Spa in Bluffton, he was the toast of the village over at the drying table.
"I wish I could get my husband to come here," one woman told him.
"I've been telling mine it's OK," another said. "But he won't do it."
These women are just trying to get their men to understand that they don't have to live this way, especially not in year-round flip-flop territory.
Farrison's feet, by the way, look fantastic in flip-flops. They look healthy and clean.
He would most assuredly tell any men out there who are curious about pedicures but afraid to make that plunge, to go for it.
Pedicures, he would say, do not make you girly.
It is no big deal.
"What if they gave you a male nail technician?" I asked Farrison on Thursday.
"...," he said.
He collected his thoughts.
"That would be ... weird," he said slowly. "I guess I could do that."
Then he found the perfect answer.
"I don't know if they'd want to do that either."
Follow columnist and senior editor Liz Farrell at twitter.com/elizfarrell and facebook.com/elizfarrell.
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This story was originally published January 18, 2016 at 4:26 PM with the headline "Farrell: Real men bring their Man Feet to the nail salon."