Doughtie: Presence better than presents

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me ... "No fishing, Collins, I want some jewelry, you do the cooking, I'll sit and watch, you pay the bills, and noooo hunting either." Like that? If you sing it like the song, it actually isn't all bad.

Every family has their Christmas traditions, and when I think back to the early days with my brothers and sisters, my folks did it right. My dad would put a paper barrier across the staircase and my four siblings and me were not allowed to plow through that barrier until Christmas morning, and only when he gave the word.

Even then, the only thing we were allowed to do was empty out our stockings. When it came to opening presents, one child was chosen to be the master of ceremonies for that year and presents were handed out one at a time and another couldn't be given until the previous present was opened for all to see.

Almost as important as the present was the card that went with it. You had to be creative with hints hidden in the words. Then we all had to guess from the hints as to what was in the package.

It was pretty darn magical and when I had my own children, I carried on that tradition. Hopefully my children will keep it going with their kids.

Another neat thing that really made me believe in Santa was on Christmas Eve my dad would get on the roof and whack two 2-by-4 wood blocks together that sounded just like reindeers hoofs walking. By no means were we allowed to leave our bedrooms, and when we finally were allowed to see the presents on Christmas morning, white hairs would be stuck in the fireplace screen and sooty footprints would run across the floor to the half eaten cookies and an empty milk glass.

It was such an amazing display, I am not embarrassed to say that I believed in Santa until they kicked me out of the house when I turned 18. I guess I always have always been a tad slow.

For the first time ever, this year I will be alone on Christmas. My wife, Karen, is heading to Texas to see her folks, my daughter will be at her in-laws and my son and his gal plan on taking a trip somewhere in California.

But it's OK, because one saying my grandmother taught me that has stuck with me all these years is "the best present is presence." I haven't quite decided what my game plan will be on Christmas Day, but I am thinking that should this beautiful weather hang around, I might just get up early, hop in my boat and go fishing for a bit.

Growing up, I spent a great deal of time in churches, attending Episcopal boarding schools, and I will say it taught me a lot about how I should live my life. I don't attend church all that much anymore because when I am out in nature, I find a sense of peace that no church ever gave me.

Without a doubt, the most important lesson religion and my parents taught me was to be kind to others. If I can help someone who is struggling, that is the greatest gift ever. So with that in mind, after fishing I think I want to go help someone. Maybe somebody who has no family or a person that simply needs a random act of kindness that might make his or her Christmas memorable.

That's the power of "presence" and not presents.

So what was Christmas like here in the Lowcountry back in the '60s, '70s and '80s? It sure was a lot different than these days. Most roads were dirt, and because there were so few of us, on Christmas Eve we would gather for an oyster roast and when it got dark, we would all head to the beach and light huge bonfires that could be seen all the way from Savannah. Can you imagine if I did that today?

Then as I was in my late teens and 20s, I would often go duck hunting before my kids got up on Christmas morning. Boy, were there lots of ducks back then.

I actually got my start duck hunting in what is now Colleton River Plantation, but I didn't even have to go that far. I could easily bag a limit right there on Hilton Head. Mallards, black ducks, pintails, widgeon, gadwalls and teal ... you name it and they were here in droves. Of course, I miss that laidback lifestyle, but at least I was here to experience it.

Speaking of ducks, this past weekend I did some offshore bottom fishing and even took Al Stokes with me.

Though you can't keep them, the red snapper bite was absolutely on fire. But on the way in, it was just before sunset and the water looked like glass. We were about 3 miles off the beach, and there in front of us were these huge black masses on the water that stretched for a mile or more.

Having no choice but to run right through the black masses, they were ducks, thousands upon thousands of them. All at once, they all took to the air and silhouetted against the red glow of sunset it was a spectacle that left everyone on board speechless.

These are exactly the sights that make nature the most wonderful church.

Have a great Christmas everybody and remember that presence is indeed the best present.

This story was originally published December 21, 2015 at 2:30 PM with the headline "Doughtie: Presence better than presents."