Rainy days and tall tales: The Flounder King slips away, and the ’2 oz.’ face imprint

People who don’t fish or simply have no interest whatsoever in this ancient sport are really missing out in so many ways.

I reckon you golfers out there are no doubt saying the same thing about your rabid passion for chasing a little white ball for hours on end.

So, what’s the difference? Aha, I’ll tell you.

As far as I know golf balls aren’t edible while most fish are a highly sought-after food source.

But when I was contemplating what on earth to write about after nearly a week of solid rain in the South Carolina Lowcountry, my mind came across some of the unusual, and often hilarious, experiences I have witnessed while angling.

Don’t get me wrong by thinking I am putting down the noble sport of golf, but the instances that came to mind would never, ever happen on a golf course.

Here are just a few examples.

Redfish

One that still tickles my funny bone occurred a few years back when I took a boat captain out fishing for redfish. You would think that a boat captain might be an experienced angler, but not this captain. Other than fishing for freshwater largemouth bass, he was a saltwater fishing neophyte.

He was excited at the prospect of catching his first-ever redfish so I took him to one of my favorite spots. I would assume that most of you have caught a largemouth bass or two so you probably know that when a bass hits, you rear back on the rod as hard as you can to set the hook. Right?

For saltwater redfish, this technique is a no-no. Because you use larger baits for redfish, rearing back simply pulls the hook and bait out of the fish’s mouth. Even though I told him repeatedly to simply reel when a redfish hit, his freshwater background of ripping the redfish’s face off left him, well, fishless.

The rig I used had a 2-ounce, egg-shaped sinker and 1-foot leader connected to the hook and this is when it happened. Coaching him, a saw his rod tip bounce once and knew a redfish had grabbed his bait.

“Let him eat it and I’ll tell you when to reel,” I said.

“Alright now, reel!”

And as if I hadn’t told him over and over not to haul back, he hauls back so hard I see the egg sinker, leader and hook exit the water at a good 40 mph and hit my captain friend smack dab in the middle of his forehead, knocking him out momentarily.

Four days later I see him and there was a perfect imprint of that sinker in his forehead, including the barely-visible number and letters “2 oz.” Perfect!

Flounder King

If you have ever touched or held fish, then you know how different the feel is from fish to fish. Some, like sharks, are rough as sandpaper while others, like trout, are rather slimy.

But one fish takes the cake being the slipperiest and that has to be a flounder. You better have a landing net when landing a large flounder because there is no way in hell to reach down and grab one. A wet bar of soap doesn’t compare, nor does a greased pig.

With this said, I had a run-in with probably the largest flounder I have ever hooked. It was so big I thought it was a big sting ray when I first caught a glimpse of it underwater.

Finally realizing it was a flounder, I got so excited my heart began pounding out of my chest and my vision actually got blurry. I have heard of this happening to deer hunters when a huge buck steps into gun range, but with a flounder, never.

As I babied the monster flounder closer and closer, all I could think was how my fishing buddies would react. I would be the undisputed Flounder King!

Finally ready to land the beast, I used my free hand to reach behind me for my landing net and it wasn’t there! I had forgotten to bring it.

Terrified my line would break, I had no choice but to gently drag the flounder up the bank. Just as I reached the highest spot, the flounder goes nuts, breaks my line and starts flopping toward the water.

Instantly, I jumped on it and the two of us wrestled as we rolled toward the water.

The would-be Flounder King lost big time. With fish slime from head to toe I watched that doormat-size flounder lazily swim off.

All I can say is had that fight been filmed it would have most definitely gone viral.