Report of rape in Bluffton chance to change response to victims

This morning I took my dog outside for his regularly scheduled morning meeting.

While he addressed all the issues on his agenda, I thought about how my door was unlocked.

It is always unlocked when I walk around the immediate vicinity of my apartment building.

If I venture farther, I lock the door.

But that doesn’t matter.

In that moment, the door was unlocked. And I could not see the door.

Yesterday, if you were to have quizzed me on my bad habits, and the first question on the quiz was “Do you ever leave your door unlocked?” I would have chosen A. No way! Never. Who does that?, even though the answer is clearly B. Wait a minute, I do.

I’m not the kind of person who leaves her door unlocked.

And yet that’s exactly what I’ve been doing during my dog’s appointments with nature.

I was thinking about my unlocked door this morning because of a report the night before on WJCL about a Bluffton woman who says she came home to her unlocked Westbury Park apartment and was raped at knifepoint early May 7 by an unknown assailant who was there waiting for her.

The man, she said, was a tall, possibly white or Asian man, who spoke in broken English and had a tattoo of a circle with Chinese characters on his left arm.

According to a Beaufort County Sheriff’s Office report, the woman said she did not know her attacker and had never seen him before.

This happened within walking distance of where I live.

In fact, it happened within walking distance of where a lot of people live.

And yet we were hearing about this days later, and only through the WJCL reporter’s regular check of deputy reports.

The sheriff’s office dropped the ball on this one.

The suspect has not been caught. They had a description of him, and that description should have been broadcast to the public soon after the crime was reported, no matter the circumstances.

Not to scare the public, mind you. Not to make us think there’s a roving rapist checking doorknobs.

But to jolt us out of any complacency we’ve developed living in a generally safe town.

To remind us to look around. Be alert.

To lock our doors if they’re not already locked.

“Lock our doors.”

Who knew that statement could be so fraught?

When a heinous crime happens in a community, the community’s immediate response is usually to offer thoughts and prayers to the victims, to call for justice and to seek ways to be helpful in the aftermath.

Oh. And also to figure out how this crime could have been prevented, especially in our own lives.

“Human nature is to want control,” said Shaw Chin Capps, director of Hope Haven of the Lowcountry, a local children’s advocacy and rape crisis center. “It’s a reaction to what is known … the known is that the victim did not lock her door.”

On Facebook, readers were quick to note this very thing.

The victim did not lock her door.

Even a reader who said she wasn’t blaming the victim, immediately pointed out this detail.

“Why in the hell would you leave your doors unlocked?” she wrote. “... Common sense, people! I’m sorry for her and hope they catch this guy. But use your damn brain!”

It was at this that the commenters split into two camps — three if you count the woman complaining about her mother getting towed at this same apartment complex.

First, there were the aforementioned people who, though they were not saying the victim got what she deserved, strongly believed her door should have been locked.

And second, there were the people who equated that opinion to a form of victim-blaming, or victim-shaming. Her door, they said, has nothing to do with anything. She should not have been raped.

The commenters were at direct odds.

Go ahead, choose one opinion right now that will stand for what you believe about those who have been sexually assaulted.

Is it she should have had her door locked, you victim-blamer?

Or do you think that the unlocked door isn’t the issue, you soft, illogical idealist?

Actually, don’t choose. You don’t have to.

The fact that there are “sides” on this is silly.

Everyone is saying the same thing: This should not have happened in our community.

Pointing out that an unlocked door is generally ill-advised certainly does not mean you think the victim is at fault.

And saying that the door is not the problem, does not mean you think basic crime-prevention measures are nonsense.

But there is a better response to this overall.

Victims of sexual assault, male or female, often don’t report the crime.

The onus is on them to be believed. And they are likely already blaming themselves for being assaulted.

“I should not have worn this outfit.”

“I should not have invited him in.”

“I should have screamed louder.”

This incident is an opportunity for our community to show support for victims, to make it less daunting for someone who has been harmed to speak up and say so.

“It really does matter what we say. While I believe there’s no intent (here) to blame the victim,” Chin Capps said, “we can make a difference by the way we say things.”

Instead of saying “use your damn brain, rape victim” how about something in the way of “I can’t believe this happened here. I hope the victim is OK. Stay safe, people, because this guy is still out there”?

And then go make sure your own doors are locked.

This story was originally published May 11, 2016 at 5:22 PM with the headline "Report of rape in Bluffton chance to change response to victims."