Farrell: How to do the RBC Heritage golf tournament in 11,000 steps

The battery in my FitBit died six months ago.

For the first few days after, I reminded myself hourly, then daily, that it needed to be charged.

But time continued to pass, and I forgot about it altogether.

Occasionally I’d see someone else wear theirs and I’d think, “Oh yeah! I have one of those too. I should do that again.”

This is what happened Thursday afternoon when I was near the 16th fairway at the RBC Heritage Presented by Boeing golf tournament on Hilton Head Island.

I heard a man’s voice behind me ask someone, “How many have I gone?”

After a slight pause, a woman’s voice said, “8,368 steps.”

I turned to find them so I could ask, “How long have you been walking? What is your goal? How many steps do you usually walk a day? How many times have you checked your numbers today?”

I looked for arms still raised. I checked wrists for fitness trackers. But behind me was a veritable Noah’s Ark of long-sleeved male-female couplings, all of whom looked like they either needed help reading small print or they provided help reading small print.

FitBit fever hit me again, though, and I was reminded of the pre-battery-dying obsession I had over my numbers.

I’d relish trips to cities where I could walk myself to a new steps record.

I’d get excited about layovers at the airport because it meant even higher stats.

I’d take the long way.

I’d circle the block again.

I’d march around my couch while watching “Vanderpump Rules” because it was almost midnight and I was SO CLOSE to 10,000 steps but not about to walk in the dark.

OK. That last part I did not mean to vocalize. But I did do that. More than once.

A four-day golf-tournament is the perfect place to obsess about your steps.

Why didn’t I think about this before?

I began asking other spectators wearing FitBits what their numbers looked like.

Jim Rowley of Atlanta’s FitBit had vibrated 45 minutes earlier, signaling that he had reached his 10,000 daily step goal.

“I kind of assumed I’d be getting more steps in today,” he said.

Bryce Norton of Greenville had more than 12,000 steps logged that day.

“I was hoping to get 20,000,” he said. “So I’m a little low.”

Twenty-thousand. That’s what I would hope for too, after hours of walking.

David Odom of Seneca’s FitBit was on energy-saver so he couldn’t check his steps.

But when a FitBitter is asked to share his steps, a FitBitter finds a way.

“I’m going to look on my phone,” he said. “Hang on.”

“14,368!”

On Thursday night, I charged my FitBit and walked the entire course Friday morning … and also afternoon, because my goodness it takes a long time to walk a golf course during a tournament where a ball is constantly in play.

Here are the inside thoughts that occurred to me along the way:

Hole 1

Time: 9:43 a.m.

Steps: 0 (I’m not counting the 1,600 steps it took me to get there)

I haven’t walked 10,000 steps in six months, total, never mind 10,000 steps daily. I bet there are no benches. I can’t do this. Oh yes you can, Liz. Let’s get a good pace going.

Hole 1

Time: 9:47 a.m.

Steps: 547

Hey! The Charter One Hospitality House! A little gossip and socializing never hurt anyone. It’s time for a break anyhow. Oooh. They have tiny Moonpies … You told yourself you wouldn’t eat sugar! Keep walking, you maniac.

Hole 3

Time: 10:25

Steps: 1,577

Oh no. The marshals are putting their hands up! They’re putting their hands up! I forgot what that means. How could I not know what that means? I’ve lived here for 12 years. It must mean freeze in place with my arms mid-stride. And if it doesn’t, I definitely look like I’m playing Simon Says right now.

Hole 3

Time: 10:26

Steps: 1,579

WHICH WAY DO I GO? Time to download a map … or follow that man with a cigar.

Hole 4

Time: 10:29

Steps: 1,775

I’m already hungry. I wonder if I’ll eat a hot dog today. It’s been a long time since I’ve been hot dog-hungry. Oooh. There’s some moss on that tree. If this were a survivalist show I’d have to eat that.

Hole 7

Time: 11:10

Steps: 3,967

Pop of Color. Beardie. Guy in Black. Orrrrr … Poulter. DeLaet. Chappell. I guess those are their names. Wow. There are a lot of spectators here now. Oh! Guy in Black is in the lead. Follow the winner, I get it. What happens if he screws up? Does everyone just leave? How would that feel for you to miss a shot and have everyone walk away?

Hole 9

Time: 11:55

Steps: 5,302

I want to stop walking now and just double this number and tell everyone that’s how many steps people can get if they walk the whole course. Also, I think I might actually be hot dog-hungry. Even knowing about the human DNA and bad bits. Cheese on a hot dog sounds amazing. And ketchup. Ugh. Sugar! No. You’re finishing this. JUST WALK.

Hole 11

Time: 12:15

Steps: 6,228

Um. Empty path? Just a few marshals bird-watching? Everyone must be back at the clubhouse eating hot dogs! I am cruising now. Maybe I’ll finish the second half faster.

Holes 13/14

Time: 12:37

Steps: 7,990

Human traffic jam and I HAVE TO COUGH. This has to be a record for longest amount of time a crowd has been asked to be silent. What if I hide behind that retirement village skybox and just let this giant cough out? No one could possibly get mad at those adorable oldsters for having to clear their throat.

Hole 15

Time: 12:51

Steps: 8,447

I wonder what that man meant by “It’s probably in the fringe.” He looked right at me like I had asked him a question and that was the answer to it. It’s probably in the fringe. Hmmm. Wait. Do I smell hot dogs?

Hole 16

Time: 1:00

Steps: 8,887

So that’s what happens if you walk when they tell you not to walk … that was a very angry pointed finger. I will bear this shame till hole 18.

Holes 17/18

Time: 1:25

Steps: I VIBRATED

Wait a second. I only just now reached the recommended steps that all humans are supposed to take daily? FOUR HOURS? To keep this up, I’d have to quit my job. Or find a new career that just involves counting steps. Oh buddy. I think I might have burned enough calories for a hot dog.

On the walk back to the media tent through side streets from 18th fairway

Time: 1:45

Steps: 11,490

“OK. So I’m stupid then.” Oh boy. That guy in that group of workers seems really upset. Is there going to be a fight? No. His friends are laughing. “Hey …” Is he talking to me? Oh no. He’s talking to that guy walking toward us. “What’s in Rice Krispies Treats?” “Marshmallow, butter and Rice Krispies, why?” His friends are laughing again. “No reason, man. I guess I’m the only one in the world who doesn’t know that.”

This story was originally published April 15, 2016 at 8:37 PM with the headline "Farrell: How to do the RBC Heritage golf tournament in 11,000 steps."