When you’re getting ready for the RBC Heritage Presented by Boeing PGA Tour golf tournament this weekend, consider the purse.
I don’t mean the “purse” as in what the winners stand to receive a share of Sunday.
I mean your purse.
For starters, I recommend you pick out the right two-week-old tissues to bring with you.
Also, ask yourself, “Are these drive-thru receipts at the bottom of my purse crumpled cutely enough?”
“Are there too many stray hairs in my travel Mason Pearson brush? Or is this an acceptable amount of hair? Wait a second ... am I lady-balding?!?”
Look, if you confront these tough self-judgments now, you will be better positioned to receive the fleeting judgment from others when you’re walking the course later.
And consider the following: Should I bring that compact with the luxury brand name rubbed off because it’s been in my purse so long — so long that the face powder in it is now one shade too light for my ruddy face but will still do in a pinch? Should I put the credit cards I allow to float freely inside my purse back into my wallet? Should I bring this small, hard Moleskine notebook that seemed like the perfect place to write my hopes and dreams in while I’m out and about but only has one page written on a year later and that’s the phone number to Mellow Mushroom?
How about this leaky pen? Should this come to Heritage with me?
Have you answered those questions? OK, now you can pack your purse accordingly.
But not that purse.
Not the cute Kate Spade tote you bought to match your Days 3 and 4 Heritage ensembles, the one with the opaque sides that’ll hide the 72 plastic discount tags on your janitor-sized ring of keys.
No, no. You, my friend, must pack up the no bigger than 12-inch by 6-inch by 12-inch clear bag that has been regulation size for all PGA Tour spectators since 2014.
Or worse, the 1-gallon Ziplock bag that you will be handed if you attempt to enter the tournament with a non-regulation purse.
Either way, this means everyone will see into your messy soul.
Either way, it means you will have another layer of image curation to do.
What do you want your fellow spectators to know about you? To think about you?
What is the golf tournament equivalent of a fresh baguette and a bunch of still-stemmed carrots sticking prettily out of a straw bicycle basket?
How can you project a perfect existence through the windows of your carry-on item?
These are not shallow thoughts.
“Shallow” is what that crinkly clear PVC bag you’re carrying will be called Sunday night when it can now double as the family aquarium.
Unless, of course, you’re carrying a D by Dominie clear bag.
That changes things a little.
I happened upon these sleek high-end clear purses at the merchandise pavilion between the first and ninth fairways.
I also happened upon the designer, Dominie Brazzel, who was there with her husband, Gregg.
The two are making the rounds at golf tournaments across the country. On Wednesday, they answered questions and demonstrated how the interchangeable liners work — you can collapse the liner when you need to “go clear” and raise it back up when you’re done showing everyone the prescription medication you take at noon.
Between customers, Brazzel stylishly arranged purse handles.
“I travel a lot,” she said. “I designed the clear purses to get through security faster. I thought ‘If they could see what’s in my bag maybe we could hurry this along’ … plus, I didn’t want them rummaging through my things.”
Brazzel, of Los Angeles, started as a costume designer for movies and TV shows, with credits that include “Titanic,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “NYPD Blue.”
After a shoulder injury, she decided in 2012 to transition to purses and worked with artisans in Northern Italy, where she learned the ins and outs of handbag couture.
Since then, her hand-crafted purses — some of which retail for thousands of dollars and feature real jewels on them — have been seen on red carpets and in the hands of actresses like Anjelica Houston and Elisha Cuthbert.
A month before the NFL changed its bag policy in 2013, and a year before the PGA Tour changed theirs, she launched her clear bags, which range in price from $100 to $250.
And last fall, her clear bags made Oprah’s O List.
“I sent Oprah a purse with an ‘O’ on it in her favorite color green,” Brazzel said.
The purses, she said, are environmentally friendly and easy to clean.
“They’re not made with that PVC,” she said as a crowd of women approached her display table. “And they’re easy to clean. I just take a Windex wipe to mine.”
But remember to leave the Windex wipes at home, of course.
Because otherwise people will see them in your purse and wonder.