Joe Cunningham’s decency, civility and humility is his true legacy as a congressman

As U.S. Rep. Joe Cunningham — my little brother — stood at the steps of the Charleston Custom House recently and conceded in his 1st Congressional District race to state Rep. Nancy Mace, he was hurt.

But while hurting on the inside, his humble and distinguished remarks exuded strength and fortitude.

He blamed no person, no circumstance, no political landscape or climate.

He graciously congratulated his opponent, offered to help her and expressed love for the people of Charleston.

In a world today where seething remarks and blame follow injury, loss, and failure, my brother stood firm and offered hope in the midst of his own personal despair.

A different time

We don’t see this anymore.

You don’t see politicians implore the public to “put yourself in someone else’s shoes.”

Or to “try to see things from someone else’s perspective.”

Or to “give others the benefit of the doubt.”

Or to “find common ground.”

But you heard it from a politician who had just lost a major political race.

We dismiss humility

I can’t speak to the character of Joe’s successor — nor about her future rhetoric and poise as she goes to Washington to represent this community.

I do, however, doubt there will be anyone who represents the 1st Congressional District who chants the pleas and proverbs of humanity as Joe Cunningham did in conceding defeat.

It’s not always our fault that we overlook beauty, gifts, blessings and good people.

It’s in our nature.

It is, however, our greatest fault to not recognize the small yet important things that are today drowned out by the noise of the divisive messages, amped-up reactions and accelerated vehicles of information.

And it’s the little significant things about my little brother that have made him a great representative — and now quite possibly the greatest steward that the 1st Congressional District let slip away.

It’s about listening

I used to watch Joe at public events get cornered into partisan conversations by stern and sometimes belligerent people from the opposition.

He would stand there and listen for seemingly hours — crossing his arms and leaning in. When anyone else would be retreating, ignoring or perhaps turning their head to move on to someone else, Joe was earnestly interested.

Where does that happen today?

We elect politicians to listen, to feel, to empathize — to feel what we feel.

Joe did so.

Practicing civility

I would call Joe at his office in D.C, late at night; he would put me on his speaker phone while inflating his air mattress to sleep on the floor.

The next morning he would be working out in the gym in the Capitol’s basement telling jokes to Republican members of Congress who had blasted him on social media the day before.

In the recent race Joe’s own neighbor — whose yard borders my brother’s — put up signs attacking Joe. They were signs inscribed with insults, in addition to the expected signs supporting Mace.

Yet Joe played in the yard with his son, Boone, waved and tried to engage in civil conversations with his neighbor.

Find common ground.

Give people the benefit of the doubt.

On a daily basis Joe Cunningham daily displayed what it is to be a great human being, not just a great politician.

Do we want great human beings in office?

Do we care?

Are visible morals, acts of kindness and humility really important to people?

Or is red or blue, left or right, “yea” or “nay” the true manifestation leadership today?

Party over people?

Is the party more important than the person?

I’m afraid to answer.

On Election Night I got into an Uber to go downtown to the watch party.

My wife and I had a very nice and lively conversation with the driver about Charleston, his job, the weather — but not politics.

Before exiting the car I said this to the driver: “OK, man, real important question. Did you vote for Joe Cunningham today?”

“Uh, I don’t know,” he responded.

“Well, he’s running for re-election as your congressman,” I replied.

Quickly the driver responded, “Is he Democrat or Republican?”

“Democrat.”

“Uh, well, then I didn’t vote for him.”

As Election Night waned on and the results came in I was poignantly reminded of the conversation with the Uber driver, and ultimately the abandonment with which he voted.

In reality many people in the 1st Congressional District voted in a straight-party manner. They voted based on a title instead of on the deeds of their representative — and instead of affording Joe Cunningham even a cursory evaluation of the great job he has done

In a world where we desperately need human beings to create change, we still deem the party of people to be more important.

He will get back up

My brother’s fallen down many times.

At the bus stop in front of our house, the five of us would join three to four other kids each morning and await our ride to school.

Joe would always be the youngest and smallest of that group of rowdy school kids, and nearly every day he endured innocent but raucous abuse from the bigger kids.

A common joke was to push Joe down on the ground seconds before the bus door opened and we all boarded, yelling sneers that the bus would leave him behind.

He never missed the bus. He never stayed down. He always got up.

And he will again.

John Ryan Cunningham is a writer, high school teacher and coach in Asheville, N.C.

This story was originally published November 10, 2020 at 6:08 AM.