Seven ways to help change culture of sexual violence
In the past few days, almost all social media platforms blew up with the story of the Stanford rape case where a freshman from Stanford’s swim team sexually assaulted an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. A jury found Brock Turner guilty of three counts of sexual assault. But although he faced a maximum sentence of 14 years in prison, he was sentenced to six months in a county jail and probation.
As the director of the local rape crisis center, Hope Haven of the Lowcountry, I feel compelled to respond. Here are practical ways you can make a difference in helping us build communities intolerant of sexual violence:
1. Resolve to be aware of the magnitude of the problem. One in five women and one in 16 men are sexually assaulted while in college. More than 90 percent of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report the assault. One in every six women in America will experience a completed or attempted rape in her lifetime. And every 8 minutes, that victim is a child. Meanwhile, only six out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison.
2. Resolve to place blame on the rapist and not the victim. We all make bad choices in life whether that is drinking too much or getting into relationships with less than stellar characters. Making a bad choice is not the cause of rape. There is a difference between risk and cause. While taking steps like avoiding drinking too much at parties and locking our doors may decrease the risk, they do not guarantee that one will not get raped. Our society has made progress recognizing that rape is not just seduction gone awry, but we need to work on furthering our understanding that alcohol-involved sexual assault is a crime and should be treated as such.
3. Resolve to believe the victim. Understand that people who rape are normal people and they are often known to the victim. In eight out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the perpetrator. People who rape comes from all walks of life. They can be athletes, professors, movie stars, doctors, ministers and coaches. A person’s profession, status and potential have nothing to do with their ability or inability to commit sexual violence. In addition, the prevalence of false reporting for sexual assault is low, between 2 percent to 10 percent.
4. Resolve to teach your children about consent. The concept of consent should be taught in the context of respecting the boundaries of another human being. Children need to be taught to respect boundaries about their bodies, their possessions, and their actions.
5. Resolve to teach our boys and young men about healthy masculinity. The root cause of sexual violence and domestic violence is power and control. For as long as we allow our culture to normalize the objectification of girls and women, the problems of rape and abuse will continue. For as long as we continue to teach inequality of power between genders under the guise of religion and culture, we will continue to perpetuate rape and abuse. Fathers, you play a critical role here. Talk to your sons about the importance of respecting women and treating women as equals. Show them that violence is not part of the equation and that respect, kindness and compassion are essential ingredients of a strong man.
6. Resolve to be courageous and be an active bystander. While it may be difficult to see any good in the Stanford rape case, we must not miss the two Stanford graduate students who witnessed Brock raping the unconscious victim and did something about it. Because of them, the rapist was arrested and prosecuted. When we see or hear something that is not right, say something and do something!
7. Resolve to get help if you are a victim of rape. Know that you are not alone and that with professional help and support, you can heal. At Hope Haven, we offer support groups and treatment/therapy services at no cost. Our advocates are available 24/7 to take crisis calls and meet victims at the hospitals. Call us at 843-524-2256 or visit hopehavenLC.org.
This story was originally published June 22, 2016 at 12:42 PM with the headline "Seven ways to help change culture of sexual violence."