Letter: Guns in hand for everyone

Since Americans seem bent on self-destruction, I recommend a “gun-in-every-hand for everyone” as a national policy.

All, bar none, should be able to buy a gun whenever the whim arises. Wannabe gun owners could complete registration and background checks simultaneously by selecting from a list of categories, including mentally unstable and prone to irrational behavior and hatred; convicted felon, sentence served or parolee; Second Amendment fanatic; terrorist, foreign-trained or homegrown.

Just as in fashion, one gun doesn’t fit all. Gun manufacturers and gun stores should take immediate profit-making advantage of this by promoting new models and displaying the full arsenal of destructive weapons. This would eliminate deliberation time and permit the buyer to move speedily to his/her project at hand.

Suggested places to use the new gun could be disseminated at the time of purchase:

Everyday errands. When frustration arises, simply shoot the offender for instant stress relief.

Neighborhood schools. Those so lost in their own world can destroy the world of others.

Churches. Shooting people who practice a philosophy of love is effective for showing people who have hurt you who really is boss.

Movie theaters. What could be more gratifying than mowing down those seeking two hours of entertainment?

Social clubs and bars. Imagine the carnage that could result if a tipsy patron mistakes a chair scooting on the floor for a gun shot.

These situations seem far-fetched. Unbelievably, they aren’t.

When will common sense prevail?

This story was originally published July 6, 2016 at 4:43 PM with the headline "Letter: Guns in hand for everyone."