Mere ‘listening’ is not enough | Letters
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” – Alan Greenspan.
“I hear you!”
“I’m listening!”
That’s not enough. Do you understand?
We all feel need to be understood – less so to understand.
Understanding only comes from dialogue and real dialogue can only come with face to face conversation.
What we hear and listen to comes through our personal filters – interpretation of not just the words but body language, facial expression and tone of voice.
Take the expression, “Yeah, right!” What does it mean as you read it? What did the speaker intend?
Only through dialogue and feedback – sincere open questions from the listener on what they truly thought they heard providing the speaker the opportunity to clarify or reconsider – can understanding begin. It’s a process. And not served well by social media, where the “speaker’s” intent is easily misunderstood.
We all have scotomas: blind spots, filters that make us hear what we are conditioned to hear. Things that challenge our beliefs have a tough time breaking through. And that’s a good thing or we could believe nothing.
But we all need to leave at least a small crack in our thinking to let in something new. Listen, offer honest feedback, converse and reach mutual understanding.
(And just because I teach and preach this doesn’t necessary mean I’m good at it. Just ask my wife!)
Brian Cosacchi
Hilton Head Island
‘Zoo’ status is nothing new on Hilton Head
Hilton Head Island officials must be very pleased. The RBC Heritage Presented by Boeing got lots and lots of attention even though no spectators were permitted on the golf course.
It seems that all the would-be spectators crowded in the restaurants, bars and stores. Never mind that we are in the middle of a pandemic. Pro golfer Justin Thomas called Hilton Head, “... an absolute zoo.”
People flocked to the island in droves, happy that at the time they didn’t have to bother with those pesky pandemic restrictions, such as masks and social distancing.
All of this stuff about South Carolina’s number of virus cases increasing to record levels in the past several weeks, well, who cares? This pandemic is really something to scare people and is greatly exaggerated by the media, many believe.
People who ignore guidelines to protect themselves and others from becoming ill are selfish. And officials who are happy to jam as many people onto Hilton Head as the island will hold are greedy and reckless. Anything for a buck.
Be careful what you wish for.
By the way, I have always considered Hilton Head a “zoo.”
Terry Gibson
Lady’s Island
A good way to get COVID testing
It seems that people are concerned about getting tested for COVID-19, and they don’t know where to get this done.
A very helpful way that has worked for me and many others is to donate blood.
Donating takes about an hour, or less, with either the American Red Cross, or One Blood. They will send you a report a few days after you donate that includes your vital signs, and a COVID-19 test result.
The blood is desperately needed now, and a donor will get a COVID-19 test result. Two problems solved with one donation.
Brad Buck
Okatie