SC man who died in Hardeeville police shootout was ‘just a vet who needed help,’ family says
The May 9 funeral had no prepared eulogy.
After a few words from the preacher, family and friends began to add their voices to a tribute of their own for Calaab Kirby, 33.
One by one, attendees stood and shared their own “Calaab stories.” Each memory came from a new perspective, set somewhere during the 33 years of the young man’s life.
The congregation’s collective remembrance only confirmed what Michael Kirby, Calaab’s father, had known all along: His son had never met a stranger.
“He knew everybody,” Michael said. “He made it a point to know every relative he ever had, and made friends everywhere he went. That’s the kind of kid he was.”
To prove his point, Michael had a few Calaab stories of his own. He remembers 3-year-old Calaab — “a mischievous little thing” — walking off from the house and through a tall, grassy field to have a chat with the neighbors. Decades later, Michael was driving across town when he saw Calaab with an elderly woman in her yard; his son had stopped to help with a leak in her sprinkler system.
Calaab Kirby died the morning of May 1, during a shootout with police on a dark gravel road near I-95 in Hardeeville. The Jasper County Coroner’s Office is investigating his death as a suicide, and additional details on his manner of death are pending. Kirby lived in Union, a town of 8,000 situated about 30 miles southeast of his birthplace in Spartanburg.
Inspired by his grandfather and brother, both U.S. Air Force veterans, Kirby joined the Army after graduating high school. He served in Afghanistan as a Pvt. Second Class in the Army’s 82nd Airborne Division, a team of paratroopers trained to respond “anywhere in the world within 18 hours.”
After a year-and-a-half deployment, Kirby returned to Union deeply traumatized by his time overseas, according to his father. He turned to drugs as a result, Michael said, beginning a battle with addiction that would last his whole life.
Kirby’s case is a common one. More than 20% of veterans with PTSD go on to develop substance abuse issues, according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
“It’s an epidemic in our country,” Michael said. “We have to help our veterans get better when they come home.”
Discussing the unfortunate circumstances of his son’s death, Michael said he hopes Kirby can still be remembered as the kind, personable man he was.
“Anytime you hear of a police shooting — and I’m guilty myself — I’m sure people’s minds automatically go to, ‘Well this guy’s just trouble,’” Michael said. “But Calaab wasn’t. He was just a vet that needed help. That’s all this was.”
Although Calaab’s 18 months in Afghanistan showed him the “worst side of mankind,” Michael said, he came back with his friendly demeanor and wide, constant smile still intact.
“Out of all the pictures that all his family and friends brought — and there were hundreds — there’s two where this boy (isn’t) smiling,” Michael said of the photos brought to Kirby’s funeral. “He had a million-dollar smile, and everybody loved him for it.”
BEHIND THE STORY
MOREWhat to do if someone you know exhibits any warning signs of suicide:
Do not leave the person alone. Stay with them or on the phone with them to keep them talking. Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt. Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or the S.C. Department of Mental Health’s 24/7 crisis response line at 833-364-2274. Bring the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional.
This story was originally published May 17, 2023 at 12:04 PM.
