Mother-in-law welcomed young bride with open arms

Before saying “I do” and becoming a “Mrs.,” every young bride - especially a fresh out of high school graduate at age 17 like I was - needs an understanding, gentle soul like Josie Altman Tanner, whom I always called Mammy, because everyone else in her family did as a mother-in-law.

Being one of a large family and having been raised on a farm in a community called Vox outside Johnsonville, S.C. in Florence County - tobacco country - she was used to hard work and strong family ties, so it was not unusual for her to marry at the young age of sweet-sixteen’ to a young man, Jesse Tanner, eight years her senior, (whom she always referred to as a ‘King’) when came along and swept her off her feet. Being married at this young age, she knew what it was like to find a fit into another family. When it came my time to find a fit within her family, it was not a problem - having raised seven children of her own with some grandchildren older than her two youngest children - to welcome me, the last “in-law,” into the clan with open arms.

Even with the huge age gap between us, because of the two of us having similar ‘farm-life’ backgrounds growing up, we hit it off’ right from the start, getting along like peanut butter and jelly.

We talked her into moving her small camper-type’ trailer on to our property so she could share her life with ours, including our three sons, up until the day the Lord called her home. Those were some very good years back then, which, now, provides for some very good memories.

She always wore a ‘bib’ apron over her dresses to keep them clean except when going to church or other special occasions. It wasn’t unusual to find her coming from the garden early mornings, just as we were arising for the day, clutching her apron together bowl-fashion and filled with ‘cropped’ collard greens or butter beans in which she would just sit down and start shelling-away, letting them drop in her apron. She taught me how to sew aprons for myself which I still use until this day.

Unlike a lot of villainous’, vile mother-in-law jokes that get passed around, I can attest that none of those would apply to my mother-in-law. To me she was next to being a saint’. She never interfered in our married life, never gave unwanted advise, never told me how to raise my sons and never said, “Oh no! That’s not the way you do that. This is the way I do it” when referring to a chore I was attempting.

Having been reared in fresh-water’ country, her moving and living in the Lowcountry gave her the opportunity to taste her first fried shrimp, fried fresh- caught’ mullet from the creek and shrimp gravy on grits. She never passed up any of these dishes.

When our boys were old enough to hunt she showed them the trick’ to cleaning their own cache of squirrels when they brought them home because in the future that would be part of their hunting adventure also. Even though her motto was: “If you catch it, you clean it”, when the fellows would come home from a long day of fishing, she’d meet them at the door with pan and cleaning knife in hand, ready to lend a hand, never being one to shy away from work.

Days when the husband was at work and the boys were in school, we’d claimed as our ‘play’ day for a shopping trip to Savannah. On some of those days, my old American Rambler wouldn’t start so she’d say, “You hop in while I give-her a push down the hill to turn the battery over.” Worked every time and we’d be on our way for a day of shopping on Broughton Street with pizza for lunch -something else she had to acquire a taste for, but when she did she couldn’t get enough of it.

In writing this story for Mother’s Day, I want to bring to light to all of you wives who are still lucky enough to have your mothers-in-law around, to love them, cherish them, learn from them and most of all, enjoy, the time you spend with them. If any of you, male or female, have happy thoughts on your mother-in-law, feel free to share with me at the email below.

My mother-in-law, to me, is best described in Proverbs 31: 10-31 under “Praise of a Virtuous woman” which fit her to a ‘T.’

“Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

Happy Mother’s Day!

This story was originally published April 22, 2016 at 9:36 AM with the headline "Mother-in-law welcomed young bride with open arms."