Mindy Lucas

Southern Charm recap: The Charmageddon is upon us

The cast of "Southern Charm."
The cast of "Southern Charm."

The Southern tides are changing this week, Charmers. Episode six of Southern Charm featured, among other things, T-Rav's intimate dinner party, where the wise ex-con doled out what he deemed "life advice" that everyone needed to hear, much to the chagrin of his flummoxed dinner patrons. As an added bonus, T-Rav, Shep and Cameran were special guests on "Watch What Happens Live" with Andy Cohen immediately following the show. It was mainly so T-Rav could reveal his "big announcement" that Bravo has been teasing all week, but we'll get to that later. 

The episode begins with Cameran meeting up with her boss for a tour of the prime real estate on Church Street, where it becomes clear Cameran doesn't know much Charleston history at all.  

"I'm basically just smiling and nodding and pretending like I know what's going on when I really don't," she says. At least she acknowledges she has a lot to learn. Keep eating those Pop Tarts, Cameran! And then tell us how old this brick is.

We then flip to Whitney and his mother, who, 11 a.m. cocktail in hand, tells her son it might be time to think about freezing his sperm. Gosh, no one would be ready for that conversation, no matter how much day drinking they'd done. Whitney shakes off the awkwardness by leaving to talk business with his friend Brian from Planet Hollywood. Whitney has reservations about opening up a restaurant with Shep, and Brian says he doesn't want in on the project unless Shep is out. 

Spoiler alert! The restaurant does come to fruition, but it's all Shep and no Whitney. 

Called the Palace Hotel, the hot dog stand just opened on Hanover Street in Charleston, though it's more dive bar than palace and in a part of town you wouldn't want to rent a room in. It's an up and coming area though, Shep tells us. It's got a variety of hot dogs, arcade games, a nice back porch, and Shep. What more do you need?

Meanwhile, T-Rav gets a visit from his "political consultant," aka Will Folks, a controversial Columbia blogger who claims to have had an affair with Governor Nikki Haley. Birds of a feather, you know? Folks assures T-Rav his Millennial girlfriend probably won't hurt his political aspirations. Heck, with Kathryn at his side, he might be able to make a run of it! But first he has to survive his ill-fated dinner party. 

In what has to be the strangest get together in Southern Charm history, T-Rav gathers his dear friends around to share some hard-learned words of wisdom over a privately catered, multi-course meal. In a rather epic speech, he compares his "big, precipitous fall" to the Tennessee Williams play, "The Glass Menagerie." He tells of lost love and missed opportunity, of falling for a "beverage cart girl," whom he backed out of marrying because of her low social status. 

Is this the same ex-fiance T-Rav sued in 2011 to get his engagement ring back? Even so, he has regrets of letting her go and admits that he'd be interested if she were still available. Insert shot of Kathryn giving T-Rav dagger glares here. 

More than a little put out, Kathryn lashes out at Craig when he claims that chivalry is not dead. Don't be stupid, Kit Kat hisses. She then tells Craig he has no class, to which he replies, "sleeping with three people at this table in three weeks is not class." 

Wait a second! T-rav is one, plus Shep, plus...? Does Shep count as two? Something isn't adding up here. That really just leaves Whitney, right? 

Kathryn storms out of the room and the guests hastily make for the door, leaving poor T-Rav to wonder where his party went so wrong. (It definitely went downhill fast after the "Glass Menagerie" reference, to be clear.)


Immediately following the episode, Shep, Cameran and T-Rav join Andy Cohen on "Watch What Happens Live," where T-Rav reveals that he'd love to run for U.S. Senate. If Lindsey Graham wins the Republican primary, T-Rav says, "I'll throw my hat in as an Independent," adding that he hopes his time on the show will help his chances. 

"Once you've done your time, you've done your time," T-Rav says when Cohen asks if he considers his prison time another detriment. Then T-Rav, Cameran and Shep play a game of "Never Have I Ever," where T-Rav admits to having smoked pot and had a threesome. 

"I'm not sure if you're gaining votes or losing votes," Cohen says. 

Losing, please say losing, South Carolina. Now, can we throw our hat in the anti-Ravenel ring, please? 

BEST QUOTE: "I'd rather get (advice) from Jesus Christ or the Dalai Lama. Thomas Ravenel? Eh, not so much." -Cameran

WORST QUOTE: "What I did wrong had nothing to do with drugs or cocaine." -T-Rav. Really? Pretty sure they had everything to do with it. 

MOST AWKWARD THING A MOTHER COULD SAY TO HER SON: "I think you should freeze your sperm." -Patricia Sudler-Smith to Whitney

BEST SHEP QUOTE: "Who says I'm a catch? I'm a catch and throw back." 

HOW SHEP FEELS ABOUT EAT AND PEEL SHRIMP: "Oh no. I don't wanna peel. I don't like doing manual labor." 

BEST MOMENT: Cameran and Jenna treating themselves to an afternoon meal of dessert and wine at Hominy Grill. Pretty awesome. (And don't worry, Cameran took gas medication before the meal, because Southern belles don't fart.) 

WORST MOMENT: T-Rav spilling that he might/probably/will very likely run for U.S. Senate as an Independent. Then immediately coping to smoking weed and having a threesome. Really hoping he didn't gain any votes for that. 

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