Stiles Mikell Harper Jr.: The loss of a unique Lowcountry treasure

In a triumph of understatement, Stiles Mikell Harper, Jr. was a polymath - a Renaissance man, really.

Stiles, who died Aug. 29, was at the top of his game in a diverse range of areas, the intellectual, artistic, and social. People would gather round him just because they wanted to. He simply had “it,” the Stilesien spin on Southern charm.

I first met him at a crab-picking and buffet in Ann and Sam Sabri’s kitchen in Moss Creek in 1986. My husband, Carl, enjoyed meeting the most interesting inhabitants of the Lowcountry. Carl’s interest in the plant and animal world bonded the two immediately.

Stiles was over six feet tall, had white closely cropped hair, and a beard to match. His inquisitive eyes peered out from below staggeringly shaggy, errant eyebrows. He wore every day, wherever he was, a Ralph Lauren polo shirt in a variety of colors, khaki shorts and Birkenstock sandals. Caught in one of his sideways glances, you’d immediately feel that he was speaking only to you.

The quintessential host, Stiles was a southern gentleman, right down to the gnat’s eyelash. His parents had seen that his manners were continually polished, and their magic touch stayed with him. They also expected the best from him in all things. He was an outstanding student and a gifted pianist and organist. The stories are legend about his performances in many churches of Estill, Hampton and Hardeeville when he was about 12 years old.

Orchids

His fascination with and devotion to orchids began quite unexpectedly when at 19, just before completing his studies at Wofford College, he took a trip with a friend to Newberry, where he met Bill Carter.

Stiles said to me, “He handed me a phalaenopsis, and my new direction was forged right then and there ....”

He enrolled at Clemson, immediately.

On graduation, Stiles focused on landscape architecture, and later created his Sandlapper Nursery in Bluffton, well timed, as Hilton Head and Bluffton began to grow.

When Stiles expanded the family home on Oyster Street, he added two large green houses. A new life focus emerged involving his immersion in the scientific approach to working with orchids in his laboratory, where he concentrated on seeds and tissue culture, hybridizing and dividing. He always pointed out that while many thought he had the most astonishing collection of orchids - more than 3000 mostly phalaenopsis - that this was not just a collection but his life’s work.

The Polymath

Over time, Stiles pursued all of the items on his polymath list. Most notable was his gourmet cooking. He completed studies at The Dubrulle French Culinary School in Vancouver. His kitchen always stopped me in my tracks as I took in the gleaming stainless high tech details, softened with baskets of eggs from his nearby chicken coops, stacks of gourmet magazines on the dividing bar, and to the side a baking kitchen and a significant floor to ceiling closet, which housed countless bottles of his very favorite, whiskey, Jack Daniel’s.

Stiles was an insatiable reader, and that love carried over to his fascination with world affairs. Every morning he delivered to me the New York Times. He sat across from me, and when the time was right, we discussed our positions on the news of the day. Most of the time we were in agreement. He was, in those earlier days, my own life sized and personal Siri with a southern drawl.

Stiles was a generous man, giving always of his time. He shared pots of soup, bags of cracked crab, bread pudding and always offered help in any emergency. His interest and support of people and causes he believed in was unparalleled. He typically wanted no recognition, but last October he was honored at the Bluffton State of Mind Supper Soiree.

Nothing has changed, but everything has

Framed by a tall oak tree set against the May River, Stiles welcomed my daughter Caroline and granddaughter Julia, who had just flown in for a 23-hour stay a week ago. He was seated in a wheelchair as we gathered on his deck. He greeted us one by one.. gesturing to the chairs that had been arranged for us.

Caroline and Julia, more than I, noticed the change which had set in over the last several months as a result of a series of cardiac events. Nevertheless, he rose to the occasion, told a number of our favorite stories, always the gracious host. We were so pleased to note that the unmistakable sparkle in his eyes, which we counted on, was still comfortably in place.

He asked all of the right questions and dished out his usual zingers to me. When it was time for us to move on, he raised his left arm to offer a kind of sardonic Covid-19 elbow bump as we walked toward the house.

Stiles called the next day to thank Caroline for the gorgeous flowers - pronounced “go juss flaw waaas” - which had just been delivered.

Though we spoke on the phone several times that week, our meetup on that afternoon was the last time I saw Stiles.

I still picture him in my mind’s eye on that day. He was, of course, wearing his customary Ralph Lauren polo shirt, but on this day it was the one we save for special events - the one in our most favorite shade of purple.

This story was originally published September 1, 2020 at 1:35 PM.