Columns & Blogs

Don't let an all-star snub devastate your child

The votes are in, the phone calls made and your son or daughter never gets one. He or she was not selected for the all-star team.

The "good" news is no more practices, games or team functions as your summer vacation begins.

But having your son or daughter shunned from an All-Star team is hard to swallow -- often more so for the parents than the players themselves.

As parents, we all want our kids to be the best. Ask any parents and they'll tell you if they had their way, their children would get straight A's, have the best manners and excel in every sport in which they participate.

But that's just not realistic. So the sting we feel when our kids are let down in any facet of life radiates through us like no other feeling. And all-star teams are no different.

So what do we do as parents?

The first thing is to not make a big deal about it before it is announced. The more attention we pay to it, the bigger the disappointment for us and our child should they not make it. And the child may be even more shattered than he or she would have been had we, as parents, not harped on its importance.

Secondly, if you thought your child had a chance, it means he or she probably was on the fence come selection time. Remind your child about this, and even suggest that you go support the team to see just how good the players are and what level of skill he or she needs in order to make the team next year.

Lastly, never publicly blame league politics on the all-star selection decisions. Even if you truly believe a child was selected only because of a parent's role in the league, this sends the wrong message to your child that isn't necessary at such a young age.

All-star selections can be the highlight of the season for a very select few. But for most players, they will have to face the reality that although they are good, they just aren't good enough to be an all-star. And that's OK ... and it's important that we parents remember that, too.

Jon Buzby's columns appear in newspapers and magazines around the country as well as numerous websites. Email your comments to