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Bail money needed to spring Bluffton's 'most wanted'

I am going to ask you all for a small favor: I just made the Muscular Dystrophy Association's "Most Wanted" list. What does this mean, you ask? Well, it means that at 10 a.m. May 4, I am going to be "locked up" and charged with "having an extremely big heart." I know you won't want me to stay in the "big house" for long will you?

Actually, I am going to be held at Outback Steakhouse until all of you marvelous people come up with my bail. Your donation will not only set me free, but will help many local children and adults with muscle diseases by adding vital funds to the MDA's research efforts. I need to start raising my bail ASAP. You can send your donation starting right now. Please help me get released from jail by sending a pledge to my attention payable to MDA or call me at 843-757-3855. The MDA website is

Thank you and, for heaven's sake, please don't forget.

  • Would you like to hear an amazing fact? The world has more than 6,000 modern languages and, in a new finding, it is thought they all originate from a language spoken by early humans in Africa up to 70,000 years ago.
  • Migrating populations that left Africa took a single language with them called "the mother of all mother tongues." Modern humans began to create cave art and more sophisticated tools for hunting about 50,000 years ago. Recent genetic evidence shows that 50,000 to 70,000 years ago, a small number of modern humans moved out and colonized the rest of the world, becoming the ancestors of all non-African populations. I think this is an interesting theory about language and how it all began.

  • We are going to have a fun party at Vineyard 55 from 7 to 10 p.m. Thursday. We will be celebrating the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton at Westminster Abbey on Friday in London. The queen sent word that all of Bluffton's invitations were lost en route, so I have decided to take matters into my own hands. We will gather to watch the telly and cheer everyone on as we approach the historic occasion. After all, it ain't every day a girl marries the world's most eligible bachelor. Geist Ussery will be on hand to lead the fun -- and, if you know Geist, you know there will be lots of merriment. Donations to the Red Cross Japan Tsunami Relief Fund will be accepted during the party. So please bring your prince and wear something fun -- we'll be expecting you. Vineyard 55 is on Calhoun Street in old town Bluffton. Call me at 843-757-3855 for more details.
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