Here are some questions we apparently need to start asking ourselves about our choice of Heritage attire: Is this outfit a power move? Is it a double power move? Is it a triple power move? Is it the ULTIMATE power move?
I’ve been hanging out at the RBC Heritage Presented by Boeing golf tournament on Hilton Head Island for most of the week, and so far — no offense — I’ve seen no ultimate power moves.
But, according to the high school volunteers I chatted with Friday morning, we really need to get it together and start thinking about these things.
First, I have to tell you what a “power move” is, though, right?
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Don’t feel bad. I had to ask too, because the only image that came to mind was Leonardo DiCaprio dancing in “The Wolf of Wall Street.”
And that’s only sort of what it is.
“(A ‘power move’ is) a risky move,” Jackson Tomaszewski, a senior at Hilton Head Island High School, said, referring to personal style. “But if you play it right, it pays off.”
Some risky moves are decidedly NOT power moves, though.
For instance, wearing black to Heritage.
To which I say, leave me alone; I’m from New England.
“You’re not going to a funeral,” Charlie Farrell, a junior at Hilton Head High, said about people wearing black to Heritage in general and not me wearing black specifically in that very moment. Also, we’re not related, though I’d be OK with that because what a sweet kid.
Another also: Jackson was totally wearing black with navy too.
“The crowd should look like a bag of Skittles,” said Hilton Head Christian Academy senior James Bartholomew, who was on time for our meeting, something his mother asked that I note for his teachers.
James was in salmon shorts and a blue collared shirt.
“That’s a great description,” Jackson told him.
James smiled and nodded. His friends agreed.
“Pastels!” someone said.
Jackson was still impressed by the Skittles simile, though.
Anna Eddy, a senior at HHCA, agreed that pastels and bright colors are the thing to wear.
“And white pants.”
“Lilly Pulitzer?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she said, then paused. “... but I don’t own any.”
“Is Lilly over?” I asked the group.
“It’s only just begun,” Jackson said.
James offered a list of what’s popular for girls at Heritage. The list was short. “Lilly, Jack Rogers ...”
“Do guys like Lilly? Are they impressed by it?” I asked the group.
James, Jackson, Charlie and their friend, Travis Mencill, a senior at Hilton Head high, considered it for less than a second, “No. Not really.”
It’s too mainstream, they said. Too many girls are wearing it.
“It’s like a needle in a haystack,” Jackson said, presumably referring to that search for someone special amid a sea of similar.
But seersucker is OK.
Especially for guys because “girls like it,” they told me.
Plus this is the South, and sometimes it’s hot at the Heritage.
“If you don’t like it, then just get out,” Jackson said of seersucker, maybe joking? But also likely not ... He really likes seersucker.
And Chubbies. He seems to truly believe in them.
“Chubbies are a vintage power move,” Jackson said.
Another way to put that — so that you understand what Chubbies even are — is “Chubbies are short-shorts for men.” (They are somewhere between “Three’s Company” short and “I used to fit in these” short.)
“Are you into Chubbies?” I asked Travis.
Charlie corrected him. “You are SO pro-Chubbies.”
“Are girls into Chubbies?” I asked Anna.
She was polite.
Then she said it slowly.
And LoudMouth, those crazy-patterned shorts and pants? Are those OK?
The guys said yes but didn’t seem that excited about them.
Anna said guys should just “stick to Polo shirts and shorts.”
“They should blend in then?”
One style the group agreed on was plaid, which is perfect timing because Saturday is Plaid Nation Day at Heritage.
“You got to get your plaid on,” James said.
“It’s a power move,” Jackson said. “I’d say, if you don’t wear plaid, you look like a weirdo.”
Somehow these kids grew up with the Heritage in their backyards their whole lives but have developed zero cynicism about the tournament’s ubiquitous tartan.
“I think it looks cool,” Charlie said.
Also cool? Pro-golfer Bryson DeChambeau’s look, particularly his hats.
They tried to describe them to me.
“They’re like Great Depression hats,” James told me.
“Great Depression hats?”
I Googled it later. It’s a flat drivers cap, like a newsboy. ... You know that Great Depression. It was back when people read newspapers.
Oh. One thing that didn’t come up during our chat, but I think should have because it’s way overdue, was fancy dresses.
I know that isn’t exactly Heritage attire. Clearly.
But the prom is next week.
Which brings me to this important question: Anna, will you go to the prom with James?
He promises not to wear Chubbies.