More than 1,000 Beaufort County high school students were among those in South Carolina who couldn’t finish the ACT earlier this month because technology failed them.
Well, not technology. Humans. The humans who appear not to have asked themselves “Can our servers even handle this?”
The answer to which, is no, not at all, you exam-giving geniuses who probably already cashed the check.
When students retake the test this Tuesday, it looks like they’ll be doing it the old-fashioned way. That is, with pencil and paper. Which isn’t a big deal. I’m sure they’ll do fine.
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Once someone reminds them how to do it.
“This long yellow rod is your ‘stylus.’ And this little rubber red thing on top is your ‘Ctrl-Z.’ That flat fiber rectangle on the desk is your ‘screen.’ Do not try to make it bigger by pinching and grabbing it. Again, I repeat, using your fingers to zoom in on this will only wrinkle the paper, I mean the ‘screen.’”
I’m not even making fun of this. I support a full lack of knowledge when it comes to remembering how paper works because I truly dislike it.
It’s clutter. I hate clutter.
Sometimes I look at all the books on my shelves and think “I can’t wait to actually read you so I can throw you out.”
But then I picture myself with empty shelves, awkwardly showing my Kindle library to every guest that walks through my door just so they can see I have a thing for Charles Bukowski.
“See? I’m edgy. Now, please make yourself at home. Can I offer you a drink?”
I love living in a mostly digital, paper-free world, I really do. But lately I’ve been worried that I might be coming down with whatever imagined disorder my sister has that has caused her to have a strange and strong physical revulsion to buttons since birth. She doesn’t even let them touch her skin. She never has. And whenever she sees them she gets the judgiest look on her face.
Other than that, though, she’s quite normal.
Just not around most shirts.
But I shouldn’t poke fun at her because I’m kind of starting to get that way around newsprint, which I suppose isn’t helpful considering what I do for a living but that’s what the online edition is for.
To me, life is so much better when I am not handed a paper version of it because are you seriously handing me a receipt for coffee? Thanks, I’ll just stick that in my wallet so it can look completely disorganized.
This past week I had an appointment at an imaging center on Hilton Head Island, and I almost cried with happiness ... and not just because the test came back normal.
They handed me a tablet instead of paperwork at the receptionist desk. No pen. No paper. Just a screen. The angels sang. This is the future.
I didn’t have to balance a clipboard on my lap or cross out that annoying “e” I sometimes write at the end of “Elizabeth” by accident or be told “Ma’am, you didn’t fill out the other side of these five pages.” It was just bloop bloop bloop and done. It even had a place to swipe my credit card, which I used without thinking so now they can bill me whenever they want, I guess.
Or the Russian hackers can.