A description of the president of the United States:
I am against armed guards in schools, but my children have 11 guards at their school.
I have 36 czars, but I am not a Russian.
I am for the wealthy doing their fair share, while my aunt lives in public housing and my half-brother lives in a shack.
I am for controlling global warming, but used 144,000 gallons of fuel going on my Hawaiian vacation.
I speak of fair and balanced budgets, but I have not created an acceptable budget in four years.
Hilton Head Island