Does anyone care about 'The Clone Wars'?

YES!

By MORGAN BONNER

mbonner@islandpacket.com

843-706-8236

When the esteemed editor of the Guide asked me to write an explanation as to why I'm going to see "The Clone Wars" this weekend, he tacked on a "or why anyone should care" for good measure.

You see, he is a prequel hater, I am a prequel apologist, and some days our arguments trump anything Democrats and Republicans have to offer.

Still, his question deserves an answer: I'm seeing this movie because it's "Star Wars." Because my adult life and adult problems haven't completely robbed me of the ability to find the joy I had as a child in escaping to a galaxy far, far away for a few hours. Because driving on U.S. 278 becomes much more interesting when John Williams' "Attacking a Star Destroyer" comes up on the iPod. Because I find the subtle hum of a lightsaber to be the most soothing sound on Earth. Because every time I look at a clock that reads 11:38 I think to myself, "THX-1138!!" Because "Star Wars" is, and always will be, one of the most enjoyable things in my life and no amount of questionable dialogue, lousy acting, "talking Rasta space frogs" or "if I wanted to see Congress in session I'd watch C-SPAN" snark will ever change that.

This movie -- and the TV series to follow this fall -- continue the story of "Star Wars," and I couldn't be happier about it. Just one thing: Can someone please give Chewie his medal already? Thanks.

NO!

By JEFF VRABEL

jvrabel@islandpacket.com

843-706-8140

If "Star Wars" represented the pinnacle of my generation's love of sci-fi -- if not cinema -- the three prequels served as the protracted breakup, the supreme letdown, the note you get from your prom date saying she's breaking up with for your brother, but thanks for a nice time or whatever.

By extension, this ridiculous "Clone Wars" cartoon movie is the confusing post-breakup phase, the co-dependent part, the one with the soupy, depressing sense that both sides know it's over, but still talk on the phone.

My assignment is to list the reasons I won't go see a "Star Wars" cartoon movie, and here are two: 1. It's "Star Wars," and 2. It's a cartoon movie. I was as big of a "Star Wars" twerp as they came for a while -- test me on "Empire" bounty hunters, come on, I want you to do it -- but by the time that uproarious third prequel rolled around, the best I could muster were silent prayers for credits to happen before someone else whined about trade routes, frolicked around the meadow from "The Adventures of Milo and Otis" or turned into a talking Rasta space frog.

The sad cruelty of this is that "The Clone Wars" is the movie that fans had been hoping George Lucas would make in the first place, the one about the rise of the Empire and the darkness of Vader, not ones about an 8-year-old slave who says "Yippee!' a lot and who gets hit on by Natalie Portman, making him the luckiest second-grader alive. Had Lucas made the prequels more like "The Clone Wars," there might have been less snort-laughing in the theater every time a character said, well, anything("I love you." "I love you more." "You're so pretty." "That's my love for you in visual form.")

But he didn't, and now "Star Wars" will continue devolving into "The X-Files" or Brett Favre, something that hangs on too long, despite logic and the best wishes of everybody. Let it go, George. Don't look back.