Andrew Glaser had wondered before whether his side porch could become a target for reckless drivers on Malphrus Road in Bluffton.
Late Tuesday, his suspicions were sort of confirmed. Someone slammed into his front porch.
A 19-year-old man was speeding southbound about 10:50 p.m. when he drove over a grassy hill onto Glaser's street in The Village at Olde Town, according to Senior Trooper Hannah Wimberly of the S.C. Highway Patrol. The car took out several cypress trees, rolled over and landed right-side up on the front porch of Glaser's Village Drive home.
The teen was not seriously injured but was taken to Hilton Head Hospital as a precaution, Wimberly said. He was later charged with reckless driving and violating a beginner's permit, she said.
"Thankfully for everybody, he didn't come flying straight in or anything like that," Glaser said Wednesday morning. "All this can be fixed. It's only money."
Just before the wreck, the 56-year-old had been watching a movie with his wife in their living room, which overlooks the porch. At first, the car crashing off the road sounded like a grill tipping over, he said, but the commotion continued.
"The noise was unbelievable," Glaser said.
He went outside and called 911. It appeared the car bounced after landing on its top and missed several upright ceramic pots, which are next to a patch of lawn that was littered Wednesday with broken windshield glass.
The car then came to rest on the porch -- almost as if it had been parallel parked.
"Better than some I've seen in the neighborhood," Glaser joked.
The car knocked down a pillar and damaged some boards but otherwise left the home untouched, Glaser said. The wreck did not even disturb an aquarium, or its resident turtle, on the opposite end of the porch, he said.
Once it was clear nobody had been seriously hurt, the host of neighbors who had gathered on the street shared Glaser's sense of humor.
"They asked, 'What scene of the movie where you at?'" Glaser said.
Unfortunately, the movie's quiet desert setting didn't jibe with the theatrics that interrupted it, he said.
Friends continued to stop by Wednesday morning. One neighbor and his young daughter walked over as Glaser surveyed his battered property -- a shoe without its mate here, a toppled plant there, caution tape blowing in the breeze.
"Man, Andy," the neighbor said, "you throw the wildest parties."