It's party time, Charmers! This week's episode of "Southern Charm" revolved around JD's black-tie Carolina Day soiree, which was served a Southern helping of cattiness, lies and awkward smooches once our gang showed up.
The show begins with Kathryn making eggs at T-Rav's place, because, you know, they're a happy couple now post-pregnancy scare.
Darling Kit-Kat, we need to get you a dress, T-Rav purrs. Something strapless where you don't have to wear a bra. This is our big coming out, after all!
Kathryn agrees, wondering aloud whether people will be staring at them at the party. Probably, T-Rav says, but he tells her not to worry, adding, again, that she's handled everything else with poise so far.
"She's got a lot of potential," T-Rav says.
Could it be that he has seen her mug shot and determined they are kindred spirits? He's made clear he doesn't care a lick about keeping up appearances in order to revive his political career. But if dating a 21-year old didn't put the nail in the coffin for him, getting his license suspended last week for a DWI conviction certainly did.
Meanwhile, Shep tries to get his Carolina Day date lined up and invites MJ over for a talk. He asks why she didn't him tell him about her boyfriend from Ohio. Reasonably, Shep just wants honesty, but when MJ balks, he says maybe it's best if she leaves.
Someone give Shep's bruised ego a hug! Or maybe a back rub?
We return to T-Rav, who gets a verbal lashing from Whitney and his mother, Patricia, when he meets the two at Husk Restaurant for a drink.
"He needs to be ambushed. He's a moron," Whitney tells his mother, who also disapproves of T-Rav's relationship.
"Instead of impregnating 21-year-olds, you might want to refocus is all I'm saying," Patricia advises him.
T-Rav graciously excuses himself, but later shares the Sudler-Smith criticism with Kathryn.
"Maybe I'm young. Cool," she says in the most immature way possible. She then lets slip that Whitney tried to pull the moves on her at some point in the past. She admits she went up to his bedroom and that they kissed.
Alarmingly, instead of questioning why Kathryn felt the need to hook up with another cast member, T-Rav turns his anger on Whitney.
After a montage of each member of the cast getting ready for JD's party, (should Whitney wear the cuff links that belonged to the French Count? Are Jenna's heels too low?) we see guests start to arrive at The Mezz, JD's jazz bar and the party venue.
Poor Craig, who we barely see anymore, didn't get the white coat memo and comes sporting a black tux. It's a serious fashion faux pas, but we forgive him. He doesn't know any better. He's from Delaware.
When dinner is served, Kathryn gets the hot seat between T-Rav and Whitney at the table. T-Rav can't resist confronting Whitney about what Kathryn has told him, but when Whitney denies it, Kathryn follows suit.
"You just asked me to come over to talk about politics and that's what we did," Kathryn says.
It must be awkward watching yourself lying on television.
Speaking of awkward, Shep arrives with a new date in tow, who he is "wildly attracted" to, but wait, what's this? He makes out with Danni, not his date.
At least Shep slobbered on someone somewhat off to the side of the party. The last shot of the night is of T-Rav and Kathryn, apparently all smiles again, making out on the dance floor.
In a word: Gross.
BEST QUOTE: "I want it to be perfect before it begins so that I, too, can party." -JD
WORST QUOTE: "It matches her abortion." - Jenna referring to Kathryn's "prom" dress at the party. Ouch. The claws definitely came out on this episode. Has Jenna become the cattiest of the cast?
BEST SHEP QUOTE: "I kinda want to bring the thunder."
BEST QUOTE ABOUT IGNORING THE HATERS: "I can anticipate people saying, 'Is he out with his daughter? Or his niece?' But I can't worry about that." - T-Rav
SOUTHERNMOST ELITIST QUOTE: "You can join the yacht club. She can join the Junior League. It'd be perfect." -Cameran
BEST MOMENT: There are few things more impressive than seeing an entire room that knows how to dance. It was a nice highlight to JD's tension-filled party. Shep certainly has some moves! (Strictly referring to the dancing here.)
WORST MOMENT: Kathryn and T-Rav sucking face on the dance floor. Does anyone else feel the urge to blow chunks every time these two swap saliva?
Follow Erin Shaw at twitter.com/IPBG_ErinShaw.