Sometime back in the last century, someone had an idea for Stupid Darts, a "weapon" that drivers could use to zap other cars with suction-cup darts if that driver were doing a stupid thing.

Well, Stupid Darts need an upgrade -- very sharp darts in addition to the suction-cup ones. The sharpies would be used in parking lots -- Walmart, Sam's, grocery stores -- to flatten the tires of pickup trucks and SUVs (i.e., trucks) parked in "compact" spots. The only thing compact about those drivers is their brain capacity.

A prime example of the latter could be found recently in the center-front "compact" spot in the former Shoppes on the Parkway lot. A Hummer's left tires were on the left white line, while both right tires were on top of (and mostly over) the curbing.

Aside from that drive-you-nuts antic, have you noticed that too many drivers stopped at a traffic light seem to be surprised that after the red light becomes a green one? Duh, do we start now?

Another upgrade could be implemented by the state Department of Motor Vehicles when issuing new photo IDs and drivers' licenses. DMV techies should come up with a gasoline card that has a strip bearing the miles per gallon a vehicle gets. Thus, if driving a '90 Toyota Corolla that still gets 30 mpg, you pay $1.75 a gallon for fuel. If you are driving a gasser that gets 20 mpg, you pay $3.50 a gallon. Common cents.

Dennis Malick

Hilton Head Island