Ingredients to a happy marriage might include bacon

danielgriswold@gmail.comJune 4, 2012 

As I write this article, I am celebrating nine years of marriage to my wife. To mark the occasion we took a few moments this morning to enjoy a raspberry white chocolate latte at The Corner Perk and then went next door to The Sugaree, where I saw something marvelous: the Homer.

It is an enormous doughnut covered in maple frosting and sprinkled with thick chunks of bacon. Yes, bacon. It was truly amazing. I was nearly in a sugar coma when I went to work for a meeting. I even wrote a blog about the doughnut and cited it as a symbol of the goodness of the nine years of marriage we have shared. I've gotten a lot of "likes" on this blog -- especially from guys who like bacon and totally understand.

It may be a silly way to say it, but my marriage has been sweet and fulfilling. So much so that we have developed our own inside jokes. Every anniversary, my wife and I laugh about the short-lived MTV show "Newlyweds," which starred Jessica Simpson and her then-husband Nick Lachey. At the end of their first season, which was also their first year of marriage, they were eating a meal together at a restaurant. Jessica candidly said, "We've been married one year? Feels like seven years." Amanda and I feel the exact opposite. It has been nine years? It feels like three minutes.

It actually came up this morning as an affirmation of how fast time flies when you are having fun -- and working hard.

In contrast to the fleeting nature of celebrity weddings and relationships, I recall the romance and love in the Scriptures: "How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice!" (Song of Songs 4:10).

There is a deep appreciation for the "other" in the relationship and a delight that can last throughout the years. I see those who have been together 50 years or more as the heroes and heroines of marriage. Often they say that they had some "best years," but there were also some very hard years. They continued to invest in their love through the years, though, and found deep happiness in each other's presence. That is the everlasting love, a love we can emulate. It continues to ride strong through the storms of life and builds a stronger unity.

As a husband, I hope to live out the biblical ideal that Paul spoke of: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself" (Ephesians 5:25-28).

To fall deeper and deeper in love each and every day is not a fairy tale, but rather a choice, an honor and a great adventure. Christ gave himself for the church and gave it all, certainly, so we can emulate that great and sacrificial love that gives and gives and gives in our marriages.

A heart filled with the love of the spirit will always overflow.

Columnist Daniel Griswold is the director of youth at St. Andrew By-the-Sea United Methodist Church. Follow him at twitter.com/dannonhill. Read his blog at www.danielgriswold.wordpress.com.

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