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That's the only way to protect children from online predators, local technology consultant Jane Jude told parents and their daughters at a seminar Tuesday night at Hilton Head Island Middle School.
"Activate your creep alert," Jude said. "If everything you like, they like too -- creep detector. Creeps try to make themselves your whole world."
About 25 people attended "A Safe Place for MySpace," held at Hilton Head Island Middle School and sponsored by the Girl Scouts of Eastern South Carolina.
Jude told the sixth- and seventh-grade girls how seemingly innocent online conversations can become traumatizing -- and sometimes deadly.
Predators lurk in countless chat rooms and roam unprotected social networks. Some teenage girls can become obsessed with their new online "friends" and plan to meet in person. What they don't realize is the true age or intention of their newfound friends. Earlier this month, a 19-year-old Tennessee man who met a 14-year-old Florence girl online kidnapped her in the middle of the night -- the first time the two met face to face. Luckily, she was returned to her family. Not all stories end that way.
Surfing the Web, e-mail and instant messaging are relatively safe, Jude said. But chat rooms and social networking sites like Facebook.com and MySpace.com are dangerous for children because the sites have become tracking tools for predators. Predators find ways to connect with children. Asking a simple question about a child's softball game can spark deeper conversations that draw out information on the child's team name, hometown, age, address or popular hangouts.
Jude urged parents to set controls and help children create safe online names or e-mail addresses.
Middle-schoolers Cassidy Bibaud and Savannah Mott, both 12, aren't too keen on parents getting their e-mails, saying it's an invasion of privacy.
Cassidy, who used to have Facebook and MySpace accounts until her mom made her terminate them, said she doesn't want her mom to monitor e-mail or find out who she is dating. But she does recognize there are risks to online networking.
"Oh my God, when I had a MySpace account," she whispered, "like somebody had my password. Somebody logged on and wrote stuff about this girl who I didn't even know."
Jude said password exchange is a no-no and can lead to cyberbullying -- the online version of intimidating another person through harsh or cruel comments.
Mott, whose mom organized the event, said she encouraged friends to attend because she was surprised to find out how cunning predators could be.
"Everybody is always talking about Facebook and MySpace, and I always say something will happen," she said. "They just say, 'I don't care. I'm not going to give it up.' Nobody ever thinks it will happen to them."
